Holla! Guess who's back..back again...
Got back from Bangkok feeling pretty lost and jet-lagged, hence the delayed post-bangkok update here..Sorry!
ANyways,
1. I cut my hair - a bit of the cleopatra 'straight wit bangs' kinda cut.Makes me look like a naughty brat, but I love it.
2. I shopped like crazy - all the things i've been wanting to get -FINALLY!
3. I ate so much, I feel so fat now.
4. I miss bangkok.
Skool term starts in jus a week's time - kinda excited.
I think I'm getting the "Not sure if this job is the job for me" insecurity..like when you got something right, you always look to greener pastures elsewhere and ask yourself all the what-if questions - "What if I was a teacher instead?" "What if I..blah blah blah"
*pauses to think and diverges from the Bangkok part*
I think its inherent in me to always wonder 'what-if I did this, or did that' and almost always, I'd ask, 'How did I even get here? How did I even get into this (mess?!)'
Its always easy to blame the external factors for what happens to us,"it wasn't meant for me - oh maybe she deserved it more - oh it wasn't my time to get that promotion - oh it wasn't my luck to have won that competition."
I think our culture kinda adopts that mentality of "oh its ok to lose now - maybe it wasn't meant for you" so as to pacify themselves of not having achieved what they wanted to. True, maybe part of it is God's plan for each of us - we can't always have what we want,although we tried. But this does not justify complacency that impedes our inclination to strive for better. I must admit, I'm guilty of this too - like how I won't push for something if I feel I can't get through it. Then I'd go into the mode of "Yea, maybe this isn't meant for me."
Come to think of it - the factthat I'm rationalising this subconciously while typing out these words shows only one thing - that I have come to the realisation that we need, or maybe I NEED, to snap out of this thinking.
For Once, I gotta have belief in myself to take the risk and the challenge of leaving the ever so tempting comfort zone, and dare to do something different, something I'd never think of doing.
I owe that belief to myself.
You should believe, too.
CHeers, peeps!
