I was thinking of my career progression - like in 5 years, where do you see yourself?
I thought I got it all sorted out, till this morning, I realised I haven't got any idea what I'd want to be in 5 years. I mean, I have friends who've got their lives all planned - big career goals, kids by 30, earning $xx in the next 2 years, etc etc.
Of course, it'd be great if I bagged two promotions in 5 years and step into a managerial post. And get a cool pad of my own, maybe throw in a kid or two, and a car before..30?
But if you asked me exactly what I wanted, I can never tell you that I'd be having such and such title, and from now till then, I'll be doing whatever it takes to get there. Nope, not me. No such ambition yet. And you know what they say - 'When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.'
It kinda bugged me that I didn't have a career blueprint of sorts. Make that a life blueprint, while you're at it. I mean, how can I not, right? Then why the hell am I doing what I do?
I'd like to think that I've always 'lived for the moment'. I mean, even tomorrow is no guarantee. Who are we to say next week will definitely come? The present is but a gift, which one must cherish and be grateful for.
That said, it is a fine line between accepting and living each moment as it is, and just plain complacency. How do you know that you're doing enough? Enough to move an inch closer to 'your dreams'?
I guess maybe I feel this way because I can't see the answers now..all I see are question marks and possibilities. And there is really nothing wrong with keeping your options open, right? Who knows what comes your way?
Maybe such a gut feel, or intuitiveness, only proves itself right when you gotta make those big huge decisions in your life. For example, I had to ask myself the exact same questions when me and the other half was dating. 'Is this what you want, is this good enough for you'. I guess more often that not, it takes a strong deep desire (which typically prevails in dire, make-it-or-break-it situations) that propels one to head into one direction. It happens exactly when life tugs you in all directions, and you decide to take that step and indeed, move inches closer to where you want to be.
Its just that sometimes, not knowing what the answers are can leave you in such an unsettled disposition. Maybe that's also the reason why the elders are much more calm, very settled and confident. They've seen what lay ahead for them, so the question marks were replaced by answers, what one would call, your destiny. At the end of the day, simply put, life moves on.